I suppose it took seeing you, finally, to know for sure what I haven’t missed. One look and I was transported back to the days I’ve long since left behind.
You’re still there. Your life hasn’t changed past the knowing that what you chose was never good enough for you. I saw that in you that night, the sadness and resignation. You’re stuck there. We were tossed aside; my sisters, myself – all those years ago and my god – I’m glad we were.
I could tell you all about our lives and make you understand your greatest failure was turning your back on us when we needed you most. But I won’t. I will not cheapen my choices, my life or theirs, to make you see. We deserve more than that. You will never know anything now, good or bad, about us. You gave up that right. You will never hear our voices on the phone, a text from the daughters you raised. We won’t confide in you. You will never hold our children, nor walk us towards our husbands. We will never ask you for help. We will never call you dad again.
Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.
You failed here, twice over. I hope you’ll succeed someday, but never with us. Live the life you’ve chosen. I never want to see you again. You disappointed us. You lied to us. You lied to yourself.
I struggled over whether or not I should post this. In the end I decided to, not to stir up bad feeling and drama – but to finally lay it to rest. The saddest thing is, I’m not even upset about it.